Rise up, and Come away!

Hey hey!

Sooo, I had a post in the works and it was kinda a continuation of kinda where Ive been. I was going to start with some good old U2 lyrics "I still haven't found what I'm looking for". And to some extent, I still haven't and I am in fact, still looking for this new place of communion and intimacy with Jesus.

I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Oh my shame
You know I believe it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

BUT... it seems this past week has kinda shifted some things in my heart. Well I mean the week itself didn't do any shifting but the Holy Spirit of God may have infact done some renewing, refreshing, reviving, just simple showing up. You know how you can be having like one of those blah kind of days, nothing in particularly terrible about it, just not quite as wonderful as we hope for; and then you see someone you LOVE just because of who they are in your life, and all of the sudden theres a smile in your heart and something about the day is just brighter? Yea so this season (which honestly seems a little bit longer than just a season, it seems like its been a little too long) has been kinda like one of those days and this week has been kinda like one of those moments when that person comes in and brightens everything with their presence. Except its not just someone I love (although I do love the people in my life right now) who popped into my day, its like the Holy Spirit himself has come to visit and oh please oh please stay forever!

I also kinda hesitate to try to put words to this because I think too often I explain the beauty and glory out of Him. Words just aren't good enough sometimes you know? I like Song of Solomon right now. She tries to explain the One she loves to the other daughters of Jerusalem:

Her:

I charge you, daughters of Jerusalem,

If you find my beloved,

That you tell him I am lovesick!

Daughters: 

What is your beloved more than another beloved,

O fairest among women?

What is your beloved more than another beloved,

that you so charge us?

Her:

My beloved is white and ruddy,

Chief among ten thousand.

His head is like the finest gold,

His locks are wavy,

And black as a raven.

His eyes are like doves

By the rivers of waters,

Washed with milk,

And fitly set.

His cheeks are like a bed of spices,

Banks of scented herbs.

His lips are like lilies,

Dripping liquid myrrh.

His hands are rods of gold 

set with beryl.

His body is carved Ivory

inlaid with sapphires.

His legs are pillars of marble

Set on bases of fine gold.

His countenance is like Lebanon,

Excellent as cedars.

His mouth is most sweet,

Yes, He is ALTOGETHER LOVELY.

This is my beloved,

And this is my friend,

O daughters of Jerusalem!

I mean its a little out there but you can feel the passion, the joy she has in Him. The deep deep affection and she is so so convinced he is chief among ten thousands, he is beautiful, he is everything, there is NONE like him! You have to tell him I am lovesick, I need him, I have to find him! why why? because he is excellent! he is altogether lovely, he is my beloved, my friend. 

She is looking for him, out there searching for him because he is worth all her life and desire.

Revelation 1:
Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler over the kings of the earth. To Him who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood, and has made us kings and priests to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
Behold, He is coming with clouds, and EVERY eye WILL see Him, even they who pierced Him. And all the tribes of the earth will mourn because of Him. Even so, Amen.
"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End," says the Lord, "who is who was and who is to come, the ALMIGHTY..
In the midst of the seven lamp stands One like the Son of Man, clothed with a garment down to his feet and girded about the chest with a golden band.
His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire;
His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters
He had in his right hand seven stars, out of his mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and his countenance was like the sun shinning in its strength.
And when I saw him, I fell at His feet as dead. But He laid his hand on me, saying to me, "Do not be afraid, I am the First and the Last.
I am he who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. and I have the keys of hades and of Death."


This is the last book of of the bible, how often to we hear the name? Revelation. In my bible the heading for this book is called "The Revelation of Jesus Christ" Okay! I want that! I want to know this man, the one knocking on my door, the one my soul longs for, the only one who satisfies. The one who said, If you drink my blood and eat my flesh you will never hunger or thirst again. You will be filled! And I've been wondering where to start. Thank the Lord He leads me to simple obvious things like, maybe you should start by meditating on the descriptions and pictures I give of myself. I need to see who it is who Im coming to really believe (with my whole heart) lives inside me.


Psalm 45:
My heart is overflowing with a good theme;
I recite my composition concerning the King;
My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
You are fairer than the sons of men;
Grace is poured upon Your lips;
Gird your sword upon your thigh, O Mighty One,
With your glory and Your majesty.
And in Your majesty ride prosperously because of truth, humility, and righteousness;
And your right hand shall teach you awesome things. 


I love the beginning, "my heart is overflowing with a GOOD theme!" how often does my heart overflow with my own fleshy "themes". But he tells us to think upon what is above, whatever is good and noble and excellent and praiseworthy: good. He IS the good theme! the best theme :)



Isaiah 9:
For unto us a child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon his shoulder.
And His name shall be called 
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.


Luke 1
"And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son,
and shall call His name Jesus.
He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David.
And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.

John 1
Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!


Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! This is all my hope and peace, all my righteousness. In Him, through Him, for Him, by Him, with Him.
In His prescence is fullness of Joy! and the Joy of the Lord is my strength!

You know it's back to the word about Holiness. Thats what HE (this Jesus) is calling me to right now and it IS more, it is ALL, every bit of my heart that he wants. And I do resist, and i don't know what "new" looks like. But how in the world was I ever gonna make myself holy? How was I ever gonna try to make it there by myself. By figuring it out, by searching? Sure, we can start there. But its Him! "Be holy because I am Holy. He is the holy one. Only Him living in me makes me holy. And yea, I won't settle for less than Him in me. But its important that I look at it that way. Because as long as I'm looking at it like "i won't be satisfied until I am holy" its going to be striving and pride and falling and trying and disappointed and discouraged when I don't have the faith to give myself to him. But if its "I won't be satisfied until I wake up as a lover as you" "All my fountains are in you" "spring up o well, within my soul, spring up and make me whole"

To [us] God willed to make known the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the HOPE of glory...
To this ^ end I also labor, striving according to His working which works IN my mightily."
Colossians 1

If were gonna strive for something, lets strive for what works. Strive to die to selfishness and be filled with this spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control...Lets strive for something that is not of us and not even for us. And lets RUN there with all of his energy to will and to do, which works in us mightily. Because he wants this way more than we do!

I don't know what it looks like..many questions remain unlocked. But like we shared with the girls this week, the word is so beautiful, so full of glory (revealing him). And right now, as I sit on my parents front porch, barefoot, no caffeine in my body but still feeling this love course through me (thank you that its real!), a warm breeze (i love warm breezes!), hodge podge, the sun even though its wet from rain; Im filled with hope and I feel it. But even if I didn't feel it, even if it was a dark night with lots of losses and sticky situations and empty feelings, or friends with addictions, hurting children, impossible stories, shame...if I look around I see not just this beautiful day that God created, new and fresh. But I see the One who made it. I can see what he looks like, what he loves and wants to give.
I LOVE SPRING. There is hardly anything that gives me a greater high than the first glorious spring days. They make me wonder how I could ever be sad, lost or scared. But I see now, I love it so much because thats who He is. Jesus says,
"Behold I make ALL things NEW."
I can trust this beautiful worthy man, stepping into my heart and mind and repeating softly, hey I make it new, I make that new, I make this new, I make you new. listen to this voice, its the voice of the one who loves you MORE than any other, Ive always wanted the best for you, ill make it new, let me get that, let me have that, let me open that, let me give this.

So I think I'm the one searching and waiting but in all that I hear this voice call to me, because turns out, he wants me so much more than Ive ever wanted him:

My beloved spoke, He said to me;
Rise up, my love, my fair one, 
And come away,
For lo, winter is past, 
The rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of singing has come,
And the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land.
The fig tree puts forth her green figs,
And the vines with the tender grapes
Give a good smell.
Rise up, my fair one, my love, 
And come away.
Song of Solomon 2

My brother is in Israel right now seeing those new figs and those awesome little red poppies and maybe even hearing the turtledove, he helped in a vineyard and smelled that good smell. Its so real. Creation speaks with words that no language or person can say they don't understand. We see, feel, taste, touch, this beauty and I breathe deep and roll in the grass like a horse just to get it in me and all over me and believe it with my whole heart. I am new, this is real, HE lives in me. ALL of those passages about him are followed by a description of his bride that I can hardly rewrite because if I really am going here than they are about me. And thats a little too wonderful for me at the moment. But were going there. Until then Ill be looking for and at Him because His eyes of fire are the only ones that can burn away any doubts and worthlessness I feel in my heart.

joy. its something that can't just be grasped but is given when we receive the grace of God with thanksgiving. its something that even when we do receive it, feels like it can slip away in a minute, and it can if our eyes wander to something a little less real, a little less valuable, a little less worth it then Jesus Christ. its something that I've always been a little distant from, but o its pride to reject what he freely gives.

Rise up, and come away from all that. I will shine on you.